While in Arkansas, I have run across a list that helps tell if you are a redneck. This list is really quite funny because my father does several of these things.
(He doesn't wear the Arkansas overalls, I just thought they were cute.)
Redneck Overalls....' ARKANSAS CUT'
1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
2. You can entertain yourself
for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.
3. You burn your yard rather than mow it. I would like to add a little to this one...when it gets too long just let the cows in to graze it down.
4. The Salvation Army declines your furniture. (When they decline it, just take it out in the pasture and try to burn it)
5. You offer to give someone
the shirt off your back and they don't want it.
6. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
7. You come back from the dump with more than you took.
8. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table. I actually found 3 cans in the kitchen this morning.
9. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.
10. You have a rag for a gas cap.
11. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
12. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.
13. You can spit without opening your mouth.
14. You consider your license plate
personalized because your father made it.
15. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
16. You have a complete set of salad bowls
and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side.
17. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.
18. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.
19. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.
20. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.
3 comments:
ew using a toilet brush to scratch your back... gross.
You might be a red neck if you think a quarter horse is the kiddie ride in front of Walmart.
...you think subdivision is part of a math problem.
...your state has a law stating that if two people get divorced they are still legally brother and sister.
...you hooked up with your current girlfriend because of something written on the bathroom wall of the Flying J Truck Stop.
...You have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.
...you think Taco Bell is the Mexican phone company.
...The Halloween pumpkin on the front porch has more teeth than your wife.
...You have been to a funeral and there are more pick-ups than cars.
...you have ever climbed a water tower with a bucket of paint to defend your sister's honor.
I could go on but I am spilling so many family secrets I might get reported to Jerry Springer.
It is amazing to me how many of these things I have noticed from Grandpa's house.
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