My Mother..."Mama"

The past few weeks have been challenging. I had all those boring meetings and then school started. On the afternoon of the first day of school Bonnie called to tell me that Mama had passed away. She had been out there for about a week taking care of her. I appreciate Bonnie being there with Mama and Daddy, and wish that I could have been too.

I started the long drive on Wednesday afternoon and finally got to Arkansas late Thursday night. Friday was filled with riding the horse, cleaning the house, and getting ready for the funeral. The only funeral preparations left to do was to get Mama dressed and ready. I was kind of nervous about this, but I am so glad that I was able to help do this for Mama. Once again, Bonnie knew just what to do and how to do it. When Bonnie, Kathleen, and I were finished Mama looked beautiful.

The funeral was held on Saturday. I hate to keep saying that Bonnie did it all, but she did. I am sure that Mama was very happy with the funeral. It had all the components in it that she really wanted. She looked beautiful, it was in an LDS church, there were speakers who knew her, there was music by her grandchildren, there were flowers, she had a nice casket, her family was there, and her grave was dedicated. The funeral was comforting and very nice. Even though it rained when we were at the cemetery, there was a feeling of reverence and dignity.

After the family dinner at Western Sizzlin', my family remarked on how well things were going. I had made the decision then that whatever negative feedback that I might hear, I would not pass it on to them or anyone. For some reason the Stockams' cannot be involved in a funeral without saying hurtful things about other family members. Maybe I can stop that terrible tradition - at least with my own family.

We kept busy Saturday afternoon by fishing, four wheeling, shotgun shooting, and just visiting with family. Once again, Mama would have been happy with the way things turned out.

While driving home Sunday and Monday, my mind would often wander to different events in my mother's life. She had so many challenges in this life that really limited her. She had so much trouble communicating with others. She had physical challenges later in her life as well. When raising my own children, I often would think of my own childhood and would be amazed at the things that she was able to accomplish with her disabilities. I think her main goal with her children was to make sure that they were able to go to church. She could not drive, but she could call or have us call for rides to Primary and Mutual.

One way my mother was able to communicate was through teasing and joking. I know that that sounds weird, but she knew that we loved her when we paid attention to her and joked around with her. Once in a while we would go too far, but most of the time she would laugh and wag her finger at us, saying "shame on you." I remember thinking that I shouldn't tease her as much so I stopped for awhile until she asked me later if I was mad at her.

I have always called my mother "Mama." I am not sure why she has always been known as Mama, but that is what I always called her. She would have rather me call her Mother. I wish that I could have developed that habit, it had been kind of embarrassing to be on the phone with her during the last few years and have my friends hear me call her "Mama." I just told them that in the south everyone always call their mothers "Mama."

I will miss my mother, My "Mama." I can only imagine the conversations that she is finally able to have with her parents after such a long time. I look forward to meeting her, talking to her, and being with her once again.